I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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