I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
