he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
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He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
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I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize