i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
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