Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
