Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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