Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
