If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
