No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize