if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
