Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
