dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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