i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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