Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
