:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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