Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
