Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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