i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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