think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
