The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
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I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
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On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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