your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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