i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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