My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
