Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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