It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
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