Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize