White coat. Heels.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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