o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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