Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
