We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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