At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize