She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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