Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
