you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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