the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
