Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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