Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
