he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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