I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
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