Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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