I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
