Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize