i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
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No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm at about main and main street
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
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On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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