Sponge bath it is.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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