My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
