Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
