Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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