I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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