So drunk, too bad you don't want this
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
