Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
