i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
