In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
