everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
