Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize