I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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