weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You ruined the universe
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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