I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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