plz talk dirty to me
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
