Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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