Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I have feelings that need drinking.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
