His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
