somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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