i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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