dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
