Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
