you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
