i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
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If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
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I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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