so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
