So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
